Titles Must Die
by Captain Black Rum
Summary: Welcome to Tsukasa's underground porcupine farm! OMG! Yusuke killed Sanosuke's giraffe! And Kenshin called Kagome stupid! GASP! Oh, and Inuyasha's dead again.


A/N: I just wrote this because I was too hyper to do anything else. It  
makes no sense whatsoever, so don't expect it to. It has characters from  
.hack//SIGN, Inuyasha, Rurouni Kenshin, Slayers, and Yu Yu Hakusho. Be  
warned---they're all incredibly out of character.  
  
Disclaimer: OGONGONGONGONGO!  
  
=-=-=-=-=-------------=-=-=---------------=--=-=-=-=-------------------=-=-  
=-=-----------------=-=  
  
Inuyasha: POOF! WHOOSH! BANG! *strikes pose* I AM THE ALL MIGHTY  
INU...*pauses, thinks for a minute* Inu...um...Oh yeah! INU...YASHA!  
HAHAHAHAHAHA! * throws back his head and cackles evilly*  
  
Sesshoumaru: How dare you say that! You must die! *raises his claws  
menacingly*  
  
Ominous music: Dum da dum dum DUMMMM!  
  
Inuyasha: Okay, sure. *dies*  
  
Sesshoumaru: o.0....Hm...Then my work here is done. I must go serve my  
country! I must become...*pauses dramatically*...a cheerleader. *melts into  
the ground.*  
  
Kenshin: *dances in* Takkatakkatakka! TAKKA TAKKA TAKKAAAAA!  
  
Tsukasa: HEY YA'LL! WELCOME TO TSUKASA'S UNDERGROUND PORCUPINE FARM!  
  
Sesshoumaru: Yeah sure whatever!  
  
Kenshin: Didn't you just leave, de gozaru ka?  
  
Sesshoumaru: *stares at him*...I don't know what you're talking  
about...*picks up a stick and starts to poke Inuyasha's dead body*  
  
Kagome: INUYASHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!  
  
Sesshoumaru: *glances at her* What do you want?  
  
Kagome: Oh, nothing, I just like to shout Inuyasha's name at the top of my  
lungs for no reason whatsoever.  
  
Kenshin: *sticks out his tongue* That's stupid! You're stupid! I hate you!  
Nya nya! *runs around in circles, laughing*  
  
Tsukasa: Would you like some chocolate chip ice cream? I know it's your  
favorite!  
  
Yusuke: No it's not! I hate you!!!! *sits down and starts crying*  
  
Tsukasa: *twitch* Would you like some chocolate chip ice cream? I know it's  
your favorite!  
  
Yusuke: SHUT UP! *throws a pig at Tsukasa and keeps crying*  
  
Tsukasa: STUPID! PIGS ARE MY ONLY WEAKNESS! *sits down next to Yusuke and  
starts crying with him*  
  
Inuyasha: Ar, mateys! We be a headin' north to find the treasure!  
  
Sessh: I thought you were dead! How dare you live when I specifically told  
you to die!  
  
Inuyasha: But Cap'n, there's treasure to be found!  
  
Sesshoumaru: *glares* I SAID DIE! DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE!  
  
Inuyasha: *sighs* Yes, Cap'n. *dies*  
  
Kagome: INUYASHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! *licks a lollipop, then looks around  
shiftily and sticks it to a porcupine.*  
  
Porcupine 79709212314697: LALALALAAAAA!  
@__________________________________@ LIFE IS GOOOOOOOOOD FOR HAMBURGERS,  
Y'KNOW?!?!  
  
Tsukasa: No! *continues crying*  
  
Porcupine 79709212314697: DO YOU LIKE APPLES?!  
  
Yusuke: *sob* Vanilla ice cream, not chocolate chip! *sniff*  
VANILLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA  
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA  
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA  
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA  
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
!!!!!!!!! *also continues crying*  
  
Sanosuke: *whacks Yusuke on the head* GET ME MY GIRAFFE, MINION!  
  
Yusuke: *stops crying and looks nervous* Okay, you know how last time I  
told you your giraffe was fine and that I took good care of him for you?  
  
Sano: Yes...  
  
Yusuke: Well, actually, when I was riding him, he sorta, heh, started  
chasing this squirrel, and you know how hard giraffes are to control,  
eh...heh...  
  
Sano: *eyes him suspiciously* Go on.  
  
Yusuke: So I jumped off and he ran straight towards a cliff and the  
squirrel jumped off the cliff and...um...Mr. Giraffe is in heaven now,  
okay? *runs away screaming something about cockadoodle doo and hey nonny  
nonny whatever*  
  
Sano: You...you...you...*stares at Yusuke, his eyes filling up with tears*  
YOU KILLED MR. GIRAFFE! *sobs* He was my only friend in the world–  
  
Kenshin: What about sessha?!  
  
Sano: –AND YOU KILLED HIM!  
  
Tsukasa: Would you like some chocolate chip ice cream? I know it's your  
favorite!  
  
Sano: NO IT ISN'T!!!!!  
  
Sesshoumaru: *talking to a porcupine. Is drunk. Somehow.* So, you know what  
this fluffy thing really is? *leans forward, beckoning the porcupine  
closer* It's an albino wolverine/ferret cross! Her name is Fredrika! Isn't  
she beautiful?! *gets a really weird smile and passes out*  
  
Porcupine: O_o;;; *backs away slowly*  
  
Kenshin: I don't wanna be Kenshin anymore! I wanna be...COOLSHIN!  
  
Sano: DIE, GIRAFFE KILLER! DIE!  
  
Tsukasa: You people need history lessons! Why don't we sing the porcupine  
song?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!  
  
All: YEAH SURE WHATEVER!!!!!!! *join hands and start singing* Porcupine!  
Porcupine! Darkness before dawn! Porcupine! Porcupine! We will sing all day  
long! Porccccuuuuupiiiiiine! Get youurrrr chocolate chipppp iiiiccceee  
creeeeaaaam! *bow*  
  
Inuyasha: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  
  
Sesshoumaru: INUYASHA! I TOLD YOU TO DIE!!!!!  
  
Inuyasha: You're not the boss of me!  
  
Me: He isn't?! I'M FREEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!! *runs away*  
  
Sesshoumaru: BAKA AHOU! IT TOOK FOREVER TO CAPTURE ME!  
  
Inuyasha: Why would you capture yourself?  
  
Sesshoumaru: What? I wasn't talking about Yourself, I was talking about Me!  
Besides, it's too hard to capture Yourself.  
  
Inuyasha: I know you weren't talking about myself! I was just asking why  
you would want to capture yourself!  
  
Sesshoumaru: I already told you! I don't!  
  
Inuyasha: Don't what?  
  
Sesshoumaru: I DON'T WANT TO CAPTURE YOURSELF!  
  
Inuyasha: I ALREADY KNEW YOU DIDN'T WANT TO CAPTURE MYSELF!  
  
Sesshoumaru: SHUT UP!  
  
Inuyasha: NO, YOU!  
  
Sesshoumaru: I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO DIE!  
  
Inuyasha: Yeah, sorry, I forgot. *promptly falls over and dies*  
  
Kenshin: Hm. I seem to have devoured a porcupine, de gozaru yo.  
  
Tsukasa: O.O" You ate Fluffy!!! He was the best POISONOUS porcupine EVER!  
*wipes away a single tear*  
  
Kenshin: 0.0 Did you say...poisonous?! *falls over, unconscious* X_x  
  
Tsukasa: O.o I was just kidding.  
  
Kenshin: .......... x.X  
  
Sanosuke: *is wearing a weird Mexican outfit and waving maracas while  
dancing to disco music* Disco feeeeeeeeeever!  
  
Everyone (besides Sano, and including the now possibly dead Kenshin): O.O  
*backs away slowly* *trips over a porcupine and falls over*  
  
Xelloss: *waves his finger* Now that is a secret! *jumps off the same cliff  
Mr. Giraffe and the squirrel leapt off and dies.*  
  
Inuyasha: Well, that was stupid.  
  
Sesshoumaru: DIE, DAMMIT! DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE! *starts  
chucking random things at Inuyasha*  
  
Inuyasha: What the he—-Ow. X_x  
  
Jaken: Lord Sesshoumaru!  
  
Sesshoumaru: SHUT UP! *throws a porcupine at him*  
  
Jaken: o.o Uh oh. *dies*  
  
Tsukasa: *begins playing the violin*  
  
Zelgadiss: NUUUUUUUUU! *covers his ears* Violins! My only weakness!  
  
Kagome: When did you get here?  
  
Zel: I dunno. When did you get here?  
  
Kagome: *shrugs*  
  
Tsukasa: STUPID INSTRUMENT! *eats the violin*  
  
Sano: WHY DID YOU DO THAT?! NOW IT CAN'T GO TO HEAVEN!!!  
  
Tsukasa: Or...can it...? O.O *stares at Sano eerily*  
  
Sano: O.O I dunno...*falls over*  
  
Kenshin: Gooooooood morning! AH! WE'RE STILL IN PORCUPINE WORLD!  
  
Yusuke: YES, YOU NUMBSKULL!  
  
Kenshin: *sniff* Y-you...You didn't have to be s-so *sniff* m-mean! *sniff*  
  
Yusuke: Aw, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, buddy!  
  
Kenshin: o.0 Since when are you my "buddy"?  
  
Yusuke: I DON'T KNOW! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!  
  
Kenshin: Okay.  
  
Sano: Jeez, you're all so stupid! I mean, two plus two is SO not four! I'm  
suing my lawyer! *leaves*  
  
Kenshin: Me too! *also leaves*  
  
Sesshoumaru: You're stupid. *leaves as well*  
  
Everyone: *says something random and meaningless, then leaves*  
  
Porcupine 79709212314697: Nobody ever answered my question! Hey...Where's  
Fluffy?!?!  
  
THE END.  
  
~*&*~O_O~*&*~  
  
Well, that was...strange. Review? Please? 


End file.
